


When Stars Align

by thinkinghardhardlythinking



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-15
Updated: 2020-11-15
Packaged: 2021-03-09 22:40:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27573929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thinkinghardhardlythinking/pseuds/thinkinghardhardlythinking
Summary: Dean and the Reader had a slow burn friends to lovers start but there is still much to discuss as he surprises her with a trip away.
Relationships: Dean Winchester & You, Dean Winchester/You
Comments: 4
Kudos: 24





	When Stars Align

It was sweet, the way he liked to surprise you.

“Feel like an adventure?” He’d ask. And you’d invariably say yes, that as long as it was with him, you’d go anywhere.

“Where are we going?” You’d ask, as he’d pull you into his arms, his strong arms which folded you into them, physically reminding you that you were where you belonged and that you were his.

“It’s a surprise.” He’d say, kissing you and you’d smile against his lips. His full, plump lips.

“Can I have a clue?” You’d ask, knowing he wouldn’t give you one but enjoying playing along anyway.

“’Fraid not, sweetheart. No clues…..It wouldn’t be a very good surprise if you guessed, now would it?.” He’d say, his gruff voice sweetened with softness.

It had happened a few times now and it was the most adorable thing. The thought he’d put into finding ways to make you happy. The teasing way you’d try to guess what he had planned and the way he clearly enjoyed your impatient excitement. And his face when ‘The Big Reveal’ happened. He’d watch you as whatever he had planned dawned on you and you swore that it made him even happier than it made you; to see what he had done, how he’d made you feel so special, so overjoyed. How well he’d executed his secret plan. 

Like the way he’d driven you to see your favourite band play even though it had meant driving across three states to do so and you hadn’t realised until you pulled up by the venue. Or when he remembered how you’d said that you’d never been particularly lucky and he’d driven you to Vegas for the weekend just so you could blow on the dice when he rolled snake eyes and sit by his side as he won at poker. ‘See, you’re the luckiest charm…you just didn’t know it…’ He’d said before showing you just how lucky you could get. Or when he’d shown up in the middle of the night on the doorstep of your motel room when you’d been on a hunt in Chicago and you hadn’t thought you’d see him until you made your way back to the bunker, but there he was. He was good at surprises. He was good at everything.

This time he’d driven you across the country, you asking repeatedly ‘But really, Dean, where are we going?’ as State line after State line was crossed. Not that you minded, road trips with him, in Baby, were your favourite thing anyway. You knew he knew that.

Eventually, you stopped, in the small unremarkable town square of the small unremarkable town.

“Do you know where we are?” He asked.

“Um….yes.” You said, smiling as you realised. “This is the town where we first met.”

He pulled an adorable face, half pout, half playful smile before nodding at you excitedly.

“We drove for five days to come back to this place?” You asked, appreciating the gesture but finding it strange nonetheless.

He smiled at you, raising his eyebrows in a gesture that told you that you’d find out the full extent of his machinations when, and only when, he wanted you to.

“So secretive…” You said, laughing as you followed him out of the car.

“So….are we going to ‘Lucky Jack’s’?” You asked, wondering if he was going to take you to the bar where you’d first met him and Sam, years ago.

He shrugged in a ‘We’ll see’ gesture and took your hand as you crossed the street and entered a diner. Ah, pie, you thought. Had you driven for five days just to get…pie?

You sat in a booth and ordered food and coffee, him holding your hand across the table top. He smiled at the obvious look of confusion on your face. He loved having the upper hand like this.

“So….you remember when we met?”

“Of course.”

“And you remember meeting us at the bar?”

“Yeah? I told Bobby that I was on a hunt and the vamps in this town were out of control and it was more than I could handle and he said he was sending reinforcements and we arranged to meet at ‘Lucky Jack’s so I could tell you about the nest and all.” You said, recounting facts you knew he knew.

He nodded. “Do you remember when that was?”

“Years and years ago?” You laughed.

“The date.” He said, in a tone that implied you were being a dumbass, even though there was no meanness in it, it was all affection. You cast your mind back and tried to figure it out. It took you a minute before you realised. You were being a dumbass.

“It’s our ‘first time we met’ anniversary?” You asked, a bit taken aback. It was incredibly sweet of him to remember but also, a little unexpected. Dean was sweet and romantic you were realising as time went on, but in a thoughtful and understated way, you hadn’t pegged him as being one for anniversaries and stuff, though you guessed that you wouldn’t know. You hadn’t been ‘together’ a full year yet.

“Something like that.” He said, smiling as he attacked the slice of pecan pie in front of him with his fork. “You know….we got to town the day before. Thought we’d take a look around, get the lay of the land.”

“Yeah…I remember you saying….” You said, eyeing him suspiciously, he loved drawing out these games of his. It was cute watching him do it.

He swallowed his bite and looked at his watch before looking back at you, slow smile on his lips. “So, it was about now, all those years ago, that I first saw you.”

“What?” You said, wondering what he was talking about. “We met at the bar at night. At eight, if I remember rightly.”

“I know.” He said, his look not wavering. He watched you with a look of amusement and softness as you stared back waiting for him to explain. He shrugged before continuing. “But earlier, that day, I was hungry and I wanted pie so I came here. Sat, right here. I was thinking about vampires, I hadn’t faced that many of them then. Think I was still a bit excited about the thought of takin’ out a whole nest…” He laughed at his past naivety, “…and I looked up out of that window and saw this beautiful girl.”

He smiled wide, his green eyes bright and beautiful, the skin by them slightly creased as he waited for you to catch up.

“You saw me before that night? And….you remembered it?” You felt the warm swell in your chest that happened when he did stuff like this. Sweet, romantic, thoughtful things. You felt the tension in your cheeks from how wide you were smiling, and made a concerted effort to rein it in. A concerted effort you knew he saw because he looked proud and pleased.

“Mmm hmm. You don’t see pretty like that often…you made an impact.”

You smiled remembering back, you had been excited and nervous that day. You’d never faced a whole vamp’s nest either. That’s why you had called Bobby asking for help in the first place. You took a sip of your coffee.

“An impact, huh?”

“Sure. I saw this girl…beautiful…come out of that store…” He pointed out of the window, behind you. “…wearing this cute little dress. It was hot that day, remember?”

You nodded. It had indeed been hot, so hot you’d worn a cotton summer dress when you went into town to pass time before you met the hunters Bobby had sent. You remembered.

“…and there was a dog someone had tied up to that tree. You stopped and petted it….smiled at it, big and warm, before you did….hair falling down into your face when you stooped….and I thought, ‘Man, that is one beautiful woman. Lucky pooch, getting her attention like that.’”

You had never known that he’d seen you before you met him at the bar, but you remembered the day, remembered the gorgeous barking Labrador, and it had definitely been you.

“…and I watched you. Crouching down in the sunshine, stroking that dog. Standing up and making small talk with its owner. Taking a phone call there across the street. The whole time…until you walked away. I just…watched, thinking how perfect you seemed….this time…all those years ago.”

“I don’t know about ‘perfect’…” You said, slightly embarrassed but pleased nonetheless. “You never said, when we met at the bar….that you’d seen me before.”

“Nope. What was I supposed to say? ‘Oh hey, I saw you earlier today. I thought you were the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen. Now about this vamp’s nest….’?” You laughed, appreciating that that would have been weird. “I was surprised to see you at that bar, though. And then when you came over and introduced yourself….” He laughed to himself.

“You hid it well.” You said, as you drained your cup. “I remember when I first saw you too.”

“Yeah?” He asked, eyebrows raised.

“Mmm hmm. I remember walking in, looking around, trying to see these two hunters Bobby had sent. I’d thought that you’d be older, Bobby’s age. But then I saw the two of you, sat in a booth. You were the only two guys sat on your own so I figured it was you. And I remember thinking….’Well, damn…if they aren’t the two best looking men I’ve ever seen…’” You laughed as you told him but it was true. You had thought that.

“But you thought I was better looking right…?” He was being cocky, as ever, but also he was fishing for the compliment.

“You were both gorgeous….but yeah, there was something special about you.” He looked pleased and proud, his adorable smile spreading across his face. “When I walked over and asked if you were ‘Sam and Dean’ you both smiled and then you said, ‘For you sweetheart, I’d be anyone you wanted.’ And Sam looked at you like you were an idiot…I thought, ‘Oh man, this guy is trouble.’”

“I still would be…anyone you wanted.” He said, his eyes staring at you sweetly though his smirk showed he knew he was being cute. And he knew you found it irresistible.

“Oh, I didn’t know that was an option.” You teased. “What about that guy…from that show…”

He clutched his heart dramatically. “Ooof!” He said, as he over acted ‘wounded’. He shook his head at you, “So cold…”

“Sam was right to look at you like that…you are an idiot.” You said, smiling at him and his antics.

“Yeah, yeah….you love it.” He said, playful and amused.

“Do I now…” You said, watching as he called the waitress over to pay the bill. It was a weird thing, you’d been with him for a few months now after knowing the boys for years. It was sort of obvious that there was something there. Neither of you would have risked your friendship otherwise and it had gone from strength to strength since you had…but no one had said that word. That word had always scared you a little. People said it all the time and still there was hurt and heartbreak.

You’d used to say it often and easily, before when it meant that you cared about him like family, and you could still say it to Sam. But it was different now. It would mean something different. So you hadn’t said it and knowing Dean as well as you did you didn’t imagine that it was the kind of thing he said easily…but sometimes you wondered if this wasn’t it, that word, especially when he did adorable stuff like driving cross country to mark an anniversary you didn’t even know you had.

You left the diner, crossing the street and getting back into Baby.

“Thank you.” You said, reaching across the seat to kiss him.

He smiled as he put his arm around you, kissing you back and then asking, “For what?”

“My surprise?”

“You thought that was the surprise?”

“It wasn’t?” You said, brow furrowing in confusion.

“Oh, sweetheart….not even close.” He turned the key in the ignition and beamed at you.

“So where are we going?”

“Well, it wouldn’t be much of a surprise if I told you now would it.” He said, repeating his favourite phrase for when he was executing one of his masterplans as he looked behind you both, through the back windshield, to pull out of the parking spot, winking at you as he turned.

“So…are we going to ‘Lucky Jacks’?” You asked, when you were driving down the street.

“No. Unless…Do you want to?”

“No, not really….that place was a shit hole.” You laughed, remembering the sticky floor and the vinyl booths with cracks and open holes with the seat stuffing bleeding out of them.

“It wasn’t that bad.”

“Maybe you remember it differently….”

“I remember I met a really pretty girl there once…”

You huffed out a small laugh. He was on a full scale charm offensive today. Not that he wasn’t charming most days. If it wasn’t so wonderful, it’d be annoying, you thought.

“Yeah, what else do you remember?” You asked, leaning into the whole trip down Memory Lane.

He took a moment to cast his mind back before answering. “I remember you came over. Introduced yourself and I went to get us some drinks. When I came back you and Sam were laughing about something and I thought that maybe you liked him.”

“What?” You said, laughing but also taken aback. This was already very different from your recollection.

He nodded. “So when you went to get the next round, I called ‘dibs’.”

“What?! You did not?! And also you can’t call ‘dibs’ on a person.”

“Yeah, that’s what he said.”

“So what…you called ‘dibs’ and then….waited for over a decade before you made your move? That doesn’t seem like the Dean Winchester I know.”

He shrugged. “Yeah, well….when I called ‘dibs’ I didn’t know we were going to become friends and start hunting together…I thought it was going to be simpler…but still…I got there in the end.”

You looked at him as he drove. It had been a long road, the one that had ended in you and Dean actually being together. According to Sam, it had been obvious that Dean had feelings for you, although the way you had liked him back had meant you were blind to it for ages. You’d been so sure that you were reading into things, unable to believe in the signs. He’d confirmed it, told you afterwards that he’d had feelings for you for the longest time but you hadn’t realised that it had been quite so long. Not that he’d felt it since before you’d even remembered meeting.

“What else do you remember? About that night?” You asked, softly. You were curious.

“I remember you telling us about the vamp’s nest. The three of us deciding to check it out the next day. I remember you telling us more about you over some drinks. Asking us questions, us telling you about ourselves too. I remember Sam saying he wanted to go get a good night’s sleep if we were going to go a-hunting in the morning. I remember thinking that that would mean it would be just you and me for a while. And he left and then I remember you getting up to leave and me asking you to stay for another round…..You saying no….”

You smiled, biting the inside of your cheek lightly. You remembered that too. You remembered wanting to stay but thinking that it would be a mistake. Not only because Sam was right and a good night’s sleep was a good idea…but also because Dean was so charming and so good looking, so sexy, that you knew where more drinks might lead, especially since he wasn’t hiding his intentions very well. And as much as some part of you wanted that, hell, most parts of you wanted it, even now you could remember the part of you that kept you in line, the part that made you leave, telling you that a boy like that was trouble. A boy like that loved ‘em and left ‘em and didn’t look back and it would be better, if you wanted to be taken seriously as a hunter and especially if you wanted to work with these guys again without it being awkward, to force yourself to walk out of the bar. So you had.

“Do you know what I remember?” You said, brightly.

He shook his head but looked curious to hear.

“That leather jacket. You looked so cute in that big old leather jacket. And the jewellery. You had a ring…and a necklace. That necklace. And you were so cute….” You said, teasing tone in your voice even though you weren’t lying at all, laughing as you leaned over and ruffled his hair.

“Hey! I’m still cute…” He said, and he wasn’t wrong, “I haven’t changed. Like at all.” He looked at you, his face serious but also looking for confirmation. “I just have a different jacket and don’t wear a ring.”

You nodded to show him you agreed, finding it adorable that he was seeking reassurance. He was always so self assured. “Or a necklace.” You added, through a playful smile.

“Yeah…but apart from that…”

“Apart from that, you’re still the same…..exactly the same, baby.” You said kindly, watching his face relax and look both vindicated and relieved. You weren’t being overly kind, he was still incredibly handsome. And sexy. He wasn’t exactly the same, perhaps, but maybe he was even better. He was like a fine wine, you thought. He just got better. Though how that was possible you didn’t know. You’d been floored by his looks the first time you laid eyes on him. Getting to know him had only made you like him more. It had made you care more.

“So…” He continued, “Do you remember the actual hunt?”

“The vamp’s? Yeah, of course.”

And you did. You’d been ashamed by it but you’d been scared. Worried that you were out of your league. Glad that the brothers had been there. Though you’d never have said. You remembered the ache in your shoulder for days after from swinging the machete repeatedly with the force it took to take a vampire’s head clean off their body. The bruises from the fighting. The adrenaline coursing through your veins. You remembered seeing Sam and Dean fighting too, being impressed by their skill. You remembered when there were only two vampires left and they had made a run for it. One turning one way out of the old disused factory they had been using for their nest, the other hot footing it in the other direction, getting into an old shitty beat up Toyota. Sam had tailed one and you and Dean had jumped into his car to follow the other and it had been your first time inside this beautiful Baby of his. You ran your hand, now, over her dash with affection. That had been a long time ago.

“Do you remember where we ended up?”

“Yes, of course I do. Wait….is that where we are going?”

He said nothing but smiled in a way that let you knew you were right. That was where you were going. His eyes glanced from the road to your face as he scanned your features, wanting to see if he’d done a good job at surprising you, the skin by his eyes crinkling up with happiness as he saw he had.

That day, you and Dean had followed the vampire out of town, to the woods the stretched just beyond its outskirts. You’d found his car abandoned, door still open, in dramatic fashion and tried to follow his trail. The woods were beautiful. You remembered that even over your nervousness that you would lose the trail…or worse that the vamp would circle back to take you out.

Dean pulled the car up and parked. It was strange being back here after so long as you looked out of the window at the tall, tall trees; verdant green reaching up against the deep blue of the cloudless sky. In some ways it felt like no time at all had passed, but in others…like it was a lifetime ago. Funny how both felt equally true at the same time, you thought.

He looked at you and reached over to push a strand of hair from out of your face, tucking it with care behind your ear. “Come on.” He said, squeezing your hand as he got out of the car.

You followed him, still a little unsure about all this, but trusting him all the same.

He opened up the trunk of the Impala where there were bags. Bags you hadn’t seen him pack. He lifted out a large backpack and put it over his shoulder. It had what looked like a tent strapped to its side.

“Wait…..are we going camping??”

He didn’t say anything, but he smiled and continued pulling stuff out of the trunk.

“You hate camping!” You said, hoping that at some point he’d respond. But this was his way. He’d reveal things when he was ready…he always had a plan when he’d put something together for you.

He handed you a duffel and shut Baby’s trunk before turning slightly and giving you a kiss - a quick, soft, sweet kiss – and then starting to walk.

He stopped after a few steps to look over his shoulder at you, cocky smile on his annoyingly handsome face. “You comin’?”

“Dean….we’re going hiking in these??” You said, pointing between your feet to highlight the inadequate footwear you were both sporting. “And jeans…?”

He pouted and looked up as if he was thinking before looking back at you, all swagger and charm as usual. “Yeah!” He said, confidently. “We didn’t have hiking boots last time and we were fine….” He reached out a hand to you, his face relaxing into an expression that told you he knew what he was doing and that you should relax and trust him.

You took his hand and followed. You did trust him. He’d not steered you wrong yet, and plus…you were beyond curious to see what that secretly romantically sweet mind of his had put together.

As you walked you joined a trail and he started talking, your hands still joined, with your fingers interlaced, slightly swinging between you.

“Different from last time we were here, huh?” He asked, smiling at you.

“Yeah….well, we aren’t chasing a vamp…so that’s an upgrade for a start. Wait….we aren’t are we?”

He chuckled, shaking his head at you. “No. We are not. In fact, I’ve been keeping an eye on this place for a while now just to make sure that there’s nothing weird goin’ on in it. No missing hikers, no weird animal attacks. No vamp’s. No wendigo’s. No monsters. I’ve done my research.”

“So….how long you been planning this?”

“Couple of months.”

“And you researched?”

He looked at you as you walked to give you a look that said, ‘of course, are you crazy?’ “Yeah! We know what sort of things can live in places like these. I’m not bringing you somewhere dangerous!” A moment passed before he added, in a different voice, not his upbeat light hearted voice but his deep sincere one. “There’s nothing bad here, sweetheart. You know I’d always keep you safe.”

You squeezed his hand in yours because you did. There wasn’t much that you knew for sure in this life, but you knew that.

The woods were huge. Last time, it had been hard to pick up the vamp’s trail but you had, though finding him had taken hours.

“So,” You asked, “Is this still because it’s our ‘first time we met’ anniversary?”

“Kinda.”

“Kinda?”

“I knew that was coming up and it got me thinkin’, remembering….do you remember when we were here last time?”

“Yeah?”

“You said it was a shame to be tracking down that son of a bitch somewhere so beautiful. That you thought it was gorgeous here…and peaceful….and you said that you thought it would be amazing here at night, that you reckoned the stars here would be awesome. And I said that I hated camping but I liked looking at the stars, that it was something me and Sammy did sometimes when we were on long drives….and then I asked if you liked camping and you said…” He paused to see if you’d fill in the blank.

“I said that I’d never really been. That I’d done it, sort of, when I’d had to….when I was tracking something and I’d needed to stop for the night, but I’d never really done it…not properly…not on purpose, just to enjoy it and that I imagined it would be cool. Especially watching the stars at night, by a campfire…and you said, if I wanted to I should. ‘What’s stopping you?’ And I said-“

“You said that it seemed like the kind of thing you should do with someone special. That you wanted to do it when you could share it…with someone. Someone who’d find it as amazing as you.”

You felt that melting feeling in your chest as you realised what his surprise was. A surprise years in the making.

“You remembered that? All this time?” You asked, genuinely moved and taken aback.

“Course! I remember even at the time thinking that whoever you did that with was one lucky bastard. I remembered wishing it could be me.”

“You did not!” You said, laughing.

He stopped walking and turned to look at you dead on, straight into your eyes. His face was soft but serious with honesty.

“Yes. I did.”

You swallowed, looking into the depths of his olive eyes. “You didn’t even know me.” You said, quietly.

“I knew enough. I told you, I saw you the day before, in the diner. You made ‘an impact’. I wasn’t lying about that. And then at the bar….you were funny and cool, it was quite something else bein’ on the receiving end of that smile, I tell ya…and then I saw you hunt…you were…fast and fierce and….sexy….I might not have known you then like I know you now but I knew enough to know I wanted to be the guy looking at the stars with you. Even then.”

You felt your heart swelling. You knew he wouldn’t say it if he didn’t mean it and the fact that he meant it…well, you didn’t know what the feeling was exactly, fluttering away inside of you, because you’d never felt it before. More than happy, more than touched, more than just ‘emotional’. Something else. Something bigger. Something you didn’t have words for that felt special and warm and perfect.

“Yeah?” You said, not knowing what to say, “What else did you know?”

He smiled as he started walking again, you following, still hand in hand.

“I knew I wanted to be that guy…I didn’t know I’d get to. Especially because you didn’t seem to like me at all….” He laughed.

“What? That’s not true. I liked you fine.”

“I meant ‘like’ me.”

“Ohhhh…..” You said, “Your ego was hurt because I didn’t fall backwards, legs open, like all the other girls did when Dean Winchester looked their way and threw them a line….I get it.”

“Hey! They didn’t always fall backwards….sometimes forwards…sometimes….other ways….”

You playfully hit him with the duffel and he let out an over the top ‘Hey!” in protest over his laughter.

“No.” He said, after you’d put it back on your shoulder. “It wasn’t just an ego thing…although, yeah, that smart a little.” He shrugged, “I just…liked you and you seemed…”

“Annoyingly immune to your charms?” You finished for him.

“Yeah…something like that.”

You didn’t want to tell him that you hadn’t been. Not at all. That you’d liked him from the very start. Who wouldn’t? He was so fucking handsome and that cocky ‘lovable rogue’ thing he did was irritatingly effective at making you laugh and endearing him to you. That you’d had to tell yourself repeatedly that he was most likely trouble, a heartbreaker, and exactly the kind of guy you should not catch feelings for. Oh, the irony…you thought, as you felt the warmth of his hand around yours, fully aware that you’d caught feelings for him long ago…maybe as far back as then.

Because you had liked him. You’d found the flirting and the cheekiness attractive despite yourself but you’d also seen glimpses of other parts of him. The way he was with his brother, he mocked and annoyed him, sure, but you’d noticed his concern for him, the way he looked out for him, his obvious devotion. The way he’d been when you’d been fighting, keeping track of both Sam and you, not interfering or patronisingly stepping in but helping where he thought he could, tossing you an extra blade when yours had fallen from your hand and shouting “Y/N, on your left!” when you’d been distracted on your right. And the way when you’d walked that day, occasionally he’d mention something; about his car, his Dad or his Mom, some fragment of a story that let you see that he was sweet underneath the bravado; caring, perceptive, more sensitive and loving than he wanted to admit, let alone show. You’d seen shadows of parts of him; sad parts, broken, hurt, scared. Even then you’d wanted to hold those parts up to the light, to tell him those parts were OK too. That those parts deserved to be loved just as much as the wise cracking, sexy, ‘fights like a warrior and looks good in tight jeans’ parts.

“It wasn’t so bad, was it? I mean…if we’d have gotten together back then it wouldn’t have worked…there was so much other stuff going on. With you….and Sam…and we became friends. Like, proper friends…so it wasn’t all bad.” You said.

“No…you being in my life, however you were in my life…it was never a consolation prize, no.” He said, definitively. “You’re probably right. Lot of stuff’s gone on over the years. I probably wouldn’t have been a great boyfriend, not like you deserved anyway. But just….I don’t know….it was never just friendship…not really…not for me. Was it for you?”

“No.” You said, honestly. “I guess not.”

You remembered all the times you’d seen his name on the caller ID of your phone and felt your heart skip. The excitement when you heard his voice after a while or when you received a message from him out of the blue. The way you’d have to force yourself not to stare at him when he was around you. How hard it was to ignore the pull in you when he’d flirt with you. How he always flirted with you. How you thought of him and missed him when you hadn’t seen him for a while. The way it had stung when you hadn’t heard from him for a while and heard that he’d given up hunting to live with Lisa and Ben. How you’d had to tell yourself repeatedly that if he was happy and you cared about him, you should be happy for him. How you were jealous anyway.

How fun it was when you were with him and how you’d started hunting with him and Sam more and more. The way you’d hesitated when they’d asked you to live in the bunker with them. The way they’d talked you round. The late nights drinking with him. The times when Sam would make a comment or give you a sly look that let you know that you weren’t as good at hiding your feelings as you thought you were.

How all the twists of fate in his life; his time in Indiana living the ‘Apple Pie Life’; Purgatory; the Mark of Cain and his time as a Demon, Michael…all of it – meant that you had drifted out of orbit from each other many times, but yet you had always drifted back too, as if tethered to each other somehow. How it had been easier to not look at it properly, to not let yourself feel the things that deep down you knew you felt, to call each other ‘friends’ because at least then there was a name for it. No, it was never ‘just’ friendship. Not really.

“Hey….we’re here.” He said, pulling you out of your memories, as he took the back pack off his shoulders, setting it down with a thud.

You were at a clearing. This was where you’d stopped back then and you’d told him, about the stars. It was still so beautiful. A little peaceful place to stop amidst the gorgeous trees, the sky rolled out above you, huge and deep. You took in a lungful of the crisp, cool air.

He pulled you towards him, wrapping his arms around you as you let the duffel bag drop. You reached up to put your arms around his shoulders as he tilted his head down to look at you.

“Good surprise?” He asked.

“Perfect.” You said, lifting your head to kiss him. You wondered if you’d ever get over how good it felt when his full, soft lips met yours. Maybe years of wanting them to but not actually feeling them had made it so that even now, when you’d kissed them hundreds of times, you still felt the thrill of it. Or maybe it was just him.

“Help me put up the tent?” He asked, once he’d pulled back ever so slightly.

“Well, after you planned such a nice surprise for me…How could I refuse?” You said, stepping out of his arms to get the tent.

It didn’t take long to get it set up. It could have taken even less time if when you had been bent over, hammering the tent peg into the ground, you hadn’t seen Dean behind you, sipping from his beer and just….staring at your ass with that look on his face, the look of concentrated appreciation as he bit his bottom lip.

“I thought I was ‘helping’…not just doing it all.” You said, though you weren’t really mad.

“Sorry…” He said, wide grin across his face showing that he was not, in fact, sorry at all. “…I was just…admiring the view.”

You rolled your eyes at the cheesiness of the line.

“Don’t you roll your eyes at me.” He said lightly, walking past you and slapping you playfully on the ass on his way around the tent.

“What? There is no way you even saw me do that.” You said, you’d been facing away from him.

“I’ve known you a long time, Y/N…..I know when you’re rolling your eyes at me.” He crouched down by the side of the tent to start hammering in one of the other pegs, “You do it all the time.”

You smiled at that, because it was definitely true.

When you stood back to survey the tent, completed, in all its glory, he came up behind you to wrap his arms around you and nuzzle into your neck.

“For someone who hates camping, you certainly are good at putting up tents.” You murmured into his ear.

“I don’t hate camping.”

“Yeah….you do. You’ve told me thousands of times.” You said, laughing.

“Well, maybe……but I don’t think I’ll hate camping with you.” He said, giving you a little squeeze before letting you go. “I’m gonna go find some wood, for the fire.”

“Want me to come?”

He reached out his hand as an answer. You took it and followed him towards the trees where you walked, collecting twigs and branches.

“It’s so weird….” You said, bending to pick up a good solid branch to add to the pile forming in his arms.

“Being back here?”

“Well, I meant doing this…you know, the camping, it’s different to just stalking a vamp or a wolf and knowing you gotta find some shelter for the night…it’s nicer. I’m excited. But yeah, that too.”

He looked pleased that you were enjoying what he’d planned as you continued to wend your way across the woodland floor.

“It’s strange to think that the last time we were here was so long ago. That you saw me before we even met. That you liked me back then.”

“You knew that I liked you. You must’ve known.”

“I knew you liked me. I knew you cared because we were friends and stuff…I just didn’t think you ‘like’ liked me…not really…I mean you flirt with everyone.” You said, laughing a little.

He raised his eyebrows and shrugged in a gesture of recognition that that was true, smiling as if to say ‘What can you do, I’m gifted.’

“I still think you knew. Somewhere. Deep down.” He said, fixing you with suspicious eyes.

“How would I have known? It took you long enough to make a move!”

“Bullshit.” He said. You looked at him as if to call him on what he was saying. “I made moves all the time. You just…..evaded capture.”

“’Evaded capture’?” You said, through laughter at his choice of phrase.

“Yeah! I tried a lot of times over the years to get you to see how I felt….you just didn’t want to.”

You wondered if that was true. You remembered the flirtatious comments and the poorly disguised bitterness in his voice when you talked about guys you were seeing, men who never lived up to him anyway. You remembered nights of drinking where things suddenly got too real and his eyes would look at you too long and too unguardedly. But you’d always told yourself that that was just Dean.

“I just always thought you were just…y’know…being you, being ‘Dean’…and Dean loves women. He loves flirting. He loves sex. I just thought it was that. I didn’t think it was me.”

“It was always you.” He said, his voice ringing with sincerity and significance. “In fact….” He changed direction, gesturing for you to follow him.

“What?” You asked as you walked, mindful of the tree roots and twisted undergrowth under your feet.

“There…look….do you remember that tree?”

“What? Dean it was forever ago…how am I gonna remember one specific tree?” You said, looking at him and then following his gaze. “Oh….”

You wouldn’t have known that it was that tree. You wouldn’t have recognised it. But now that he’d pointed it out….

It had a thick, gnarled trunk, perhaps not that remarkable but its width was notable against the other thinner trees around it.

“I told you, I didn’t think you liked me that way, back then, but there was one point…one point where you were looking at me in this way and I thought maybe…maybe you did…”

You remembered how on that day, years ago, you had stopped momentarily whilst tracking the vamp. It had been unplanned for you to be in the woods and you didn’t have supplies. Dean had offered you a sip from his hip flask and you’d taken it, he’d only just started carrying one, he’d said, and he was glad he had. It had been the afternoon and the sun was filtering through the trees in dappled clusters of light as it made its way past the thick canopy of leaves where it could. He’d been stood in one such column of light and it lit him magnificently. He looked like a goddamn movie star.

His hair had been thick, more product in it than he used now, or at least it seemed that way, but it looked good all the same. You’d seen his flawless skin, so soft and clear, dusted with freckles and his eyes that sparkled with that deep, vibrant greenness, under long lashes. You’d looked at his thick, full, pink lips. He was tall, not as tall as he brother, granted, but his brother wasn’t here and without his height adding scale, he looked tall. And broad. Looking good in his old leather jacket and boots and jeans. More than all that, was the look on his face…he was thinking as he tracked, pouting slightly, his jaw set…and he had looked breath taking. And then his eyes had caught yours and his smile kinked up and he winked. In that moment he had looked cheeky and flirty and cute and playful. Perfection layered upon perfection. Perhaps you’d been a goner since then. You’d tried to style it out, not wanting to him to know that you were blown away by him. You imagined a lot of women swooned in the face of so much concentrated handsomeness coupled with both boyish charm and manly sexiness and you didn’t want to simply add to their ranks. So you smiled back and tried to look like you were unaffected, which was so very far from the truth.

And then he’d moved, taking the few steps between you and confidently put his arm around your waist and walked you backwards against the wide trunk of the tree, leaving you sandwiched between him and the hard, twisted bark as he pushed his body against yours. Your eyes had locked on his, as you felt the rise and fall of his strong chest against you and inhaled his scent for the first time; leather and whiskey and sweat but somehow there was something sweet there too and some underlying notes that smelt spicy but natural. It was a smell that had become comfort to you over the years, still so good but you’d gotten used to it, but back then…it was like nothing you’d ever felt before as you breathed it in, sexy and enticing in a way that was almost overpowering.

He’d dipped his head to look at your body and then looked up, through those tantalising lashes, and you’d felt the weight of his stare as it rested on your lips before moving to your eyes as his hand made its way up to your neck, sliding slowly up into your hair. You weren’t sure you’d ever been so affected by a look before, feeling it deep in the core of you but also….in the racing of your heart. He started to lean forward, slowly, his eyes shutting as he moved to kiss you.

Just then in the periphery of your sight, a movement in the branches had distracted you and in a blur you saw the vampire racing towards you at an ungodly speed.

“Dean, get off me!” You said, pushing against him violently as the bloodsucker disappeared briefly from sight. You had rushed to grab your machete from where you’d left it on the ground as it darted from the shelter of neighbouring trees to tackle Dean to the ground, and you had turned to see them wrestling on the ground. As the vampire rolled on top of him, lifting his head to bare his fangs before presumably launching his biting assault on the smooth inviting skin of Dean’s neck, you lifted the blade and swung, beheading the bastard just in the nick of time.

His head had landed a good six or seven feet away, carried by the momentum of the decapitation, but his headless body had fallen on Dean, blood rushing over his clothes as he pushed him off. You’d given him a hand up and asked if he was OK but he hadn’t even had time to answer before his old flip phone had rung out its polyphonic tone, Sam calling to say he’d caught his fleeing vamp and ganked him in an ally. He’d spoken to his brother and then you’d both made your way out of the woods to the car and the whole incident up against the tree had never been mentioned again, though you’d thought about it often, at times even wondering if you’d imagined the whole thing.

“That?” You asked, incredulously. “We were interrupted by a vampire!….Which I killed, saving your life in the process I might add.”

“I recall buying you drinks all night to thank you for that. And repaying the favour when I torched that Rugaru in Phoenix so….” He paused and his voice changed from matter of fact to quieter, and slightly wounded, “You pushed me off you pretty damn quick and before that ugly son of a bitch jumped me.”

“What? No, I didn’t. I saw him and then I pushed…” You looked at him, disbelief tangling in your features. How had he thought that? And for so many years? And how had you never spoken about it until now?

“Really?” He asked.

“Yes! Really. Dean….you really thought I just…pushed you away?” He nodded, his jaw flexing with the clench in it. “And you didn’t think to ask me about it? Or to try again?”

“I felt like you’d made it pretty clear that you didn’t see me in that way. What, I’m gonna ask you to spell it out for me again? Clearer? With words? No, thank you. And I felt…weird about it…I didn’t want to push you up against something if you didn’t want me to…”

You turned to face him, stepping closer to him and reaching out with your hand to cup his cheek. There was scruff there now, scruff he hadn’t had back then. You ran your thumb across his cheekbone tenderly. “Who wouldn’t want you to do that?” You asked, smiling warmly, genuinely not sure how anyone wouldn’t want him to.

He smiled, his cheek moving against your hand. “I didn’t want to try again, not physically. That’s just…not cool…I wouldn’t want to have made you uncomfortable. But….I did try…other ways…I told you a million times that you were the most beautiful woman, the sexiest. That I cared about you. That you were special to me. One of my favourite people in the world. And….and…I know you said I flirted a lot, and I did, but it was different with you….I thought you knew that….Did you really not know that?”

You shook your head slowly, feeling a little stupid. “Is that why you didn’t try and kiss me again…for years…like…not until a few months ago?”

“Well, yeah. I wanted to be sure this time…” He looked up at the sky, slowly starting to lose its light. “C’mon…I wanna start up that camp fire. Just a little bit more wood and let’s head back.”

You followed him, picking up more wood, just like he’d said, before heading back to the tent but you talked along the way.

“So…what made you decide…to kiss me. That night. How were you sure?” You asked.

He thought for a second before he replied. “Well….I’d been wanting to for a long time…but like I said, I wanted to be sure. I didn’t want to make you feel weird and I didn’t want to fuck things up between us or make things awkward in the bunker. I don’t know…I guess I’d been collecting evidence for a while…looking for clues.”

“’Evidence’?” You laughed.

He chuckled too. “Yeah…I kinda saw signs sometimes…like, when we’d share motel beds…it was weird how you always shared with me and never with Sammy, and that we never spoke about it, it was never questioned…I asked Sam once, why he thought that was and he just rolled his eyes at me and said ‘Come on, man.’”

“Oh yeah, Sam has always had his opinions about us…” You laughed, recalling the way he’d pull his bitch face at you every time you referred to Dean as your ‘friend’ or when he’d catch you staring at Dean from across the bunker kitchen and say quietly, so only you could hear, ‘For fuck’s sake! You two are gonna be the death of me.’ For a long time you weren’t sure if he was messing with you. Turns out he’d just been right.

“…and I knew that it wasn’t exactly friend behaviour that when we did share a bed, we’d end up spooning in the night. You’d roll into my arms and I’d smell your hair and feel how warm and soft your skin was…and you’d make these little noises…sounded happy and peaceful…but then you’d always get up before me and it’d be almost like I dreamt it y’know? And I thought maybe it was because we were close and you just missed cuddling up to a guy…did it automatically in your sleep or something? I mean…it’d been a while since ‘Greg’.” He said ‘Greg’ as if it was the most ridiculous name he’d ever heard and it left a bad taste in his mouth.

“You know, I’ve never heard you say his name without saying it like that…” You laughed.

“Urgh! That guy. Always hated that guy.” He said, sneering slightly.

“He wasn’t that bad.”

“Can’t have been that great…you broke up with him.”

That was true, you had, but you had broken up with him because although he was fine, nice enough, you knew he’d never mean to you what Dean did. It didn’t seem fair to keep it going, not when he’d told you he had feelings for you. Feelings you knew you’d never be able to reciprocate. Greg’s flaw was that he wasn’t Dean and that wasn’t his fault. Though you had never told Dean that was why it had ended. You were going to tell him now but he spoke again.

“There were signs…other signs…but they could all be explained away…you felt safe with me, you were just being nice, we were close…I was never sure…not until that night.”

You were back by the tent now and you grabbed beers from the cooler as he started building the camp fire.

You remembered that night. The night he kissed you.

You’d walked into the bunker kitchen to find Dean scanning the open fridge. Shutting it, he’d turned to you and said “Take Out? There’s nothing good in there. Pizza? Chinese? What you feelin’?”

“Hmmmm….I don’t know. What does Sam want?”

“Oh, Sammy’s out…..Eileen’s in town.” He raised his eyebrows and grinned, his face looking like that of a teenage boy, excitedly amused at the very concept of someone having sex. You laughed despite yourself.

“What are you, twelve?” You said, chuckling as you went to get the take out menus from the drawer where they lived. “Good for Sam.” Your voice had come out weirder than you’d meant for it to. Quieter. Sadder.

“You OK, Y/N?” He’d asked, sounding concerned.

“Yeah…” You’d said, slumping into a chair, letting the menus fall on the table. “…it’s sweet. He deserves some happiness, some romance.”

He’d come over and sat across from you. “But?”

“No ‘buts’.” You’d said, as he kept looking at you, disbelievingly. The silence dragged on as he waited for you to elaborate on the sadness in your tone. “What?”

“Y/N….” He’d said, a softness in his voice. “I’ve known you long enough to know when something’s up with you. You gonna tell me or do we have to drink until it falls out of you?”

“No….I guess I’m just a bit jealous. Not that he doesn’t deserve it and not that I don’t want him to have it. I do. You know I do. It’s just…..” You’d trailed off.

“You want some too? Some happy, some romance?”

“Maybe.” You’d said, forcing a weak smile. “Do you?”

“Well…yeah. Who doesn’t?”

“I don’t know. You always seemed happy enough with the waitresses and the girls in bars. Didn’t think you thought about romance that wasn’t….y’know…a one night only event.”

He had looked at you inscrutably, his eyes narrowing slightly as he stared.

“What?” You asked.

“Nothin’……It’s just funny how you know me so well but also….don’t know me at all.”

You’d felt bad then. On the one hand it had seemed like a fair comment based on his…interactions, but on the other, you’d just implied that he was a shallow man whore and that wasn’t entirely fair, especially seeing as you knew that you were probably just being catty because you were jealous.

You had taken a deep breath. “I’m sorry Dean…..maybe I’m just hangry…pizza or Chinese, whatever you want. I’m easy.”

“Easy? That’s the one thing you ain’t.” He’d muttered, half under his breath, though you heard. Now it was your turn to narrow your eyes.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing.”

“No, if you’ve got something to say, say it.” You’d said, curiosity and annoyance building in equal parts.

“You’re not. Easy. You are very, very difficult.”

You had looked at him, slightly stung. You hadn’t been sure as to his meaning but it didn’t sound good. And Dean was never mean to you. Ever. He’d kept his eyes on you as the silence hung in the air and then finally, his demeanour changed. He looked resigned and tired.

“Look, I’m sorry, OK. I didn’t mean anything by it. If you want to find someone special, you should. It’d be so easy for you to find it. If that was what you really wanted.”

“Well….you too. You’re a catch. Loads of women would love to have you as their-“

“I don’t want ‘loads of women’.” He’d snapped.

“Dean, what the fuck? Why are you being so weird?” You hadn’t been expecting this when you’d entered the kitchen. You’d been expecting to joke and be silly together like you normally did. You didn’t know what had gotten into him but you hadn’t liked it.

He shook his head, looking down at the floor. “Nothing. Pizza’s fine.” He’d said in a tired, small voice.

“Dean?” You’d said, leaning across the table towards him, your tone slightly kinder. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing…I just….I don’t want loads of women…and I do want what Sam’s got. I just want it with the right woman.”

You smiled at him. “You’ll find her. She’s out there. Somewhere. And she’s gonna be a very lucky woman.” You said the words knowing that they were the right thing to say. Knowing that they were the words a good friend would say. Even though they hurt a little as you said them.

His emerald eyes clouded a little with hurt and frustration. He let out a bitter laugh though he sounded far from amused. “And what about you? Is your special someone ‘out there’?”

You hadn’t fully known what to say to that but you defaulted to your usual position; try and be a good friend, try and hide your feelings, protect the friendship at all costs.

“Sure hope so!” You had said, injecting false brightness into your tone.

“Yeah? What’s he like?”

“What?”

“This special guy. The one you’re waiting for. What’s he like?”

He’d told you afterwards that he’d been fighting with himself the whole time you were having this conversation. That he’d struggled – on the one hand, knowing that you and your friendship meant so much to him and he shouldn’t risk losing it, but on the other, he was finding it harder to hide his feelings. That sometimes he didn’t know what he was hiding them for.

“Um….I don’t know.” You’d said, you’re head full of nothing but Dean. “Funny. Kind. Sweet. Strong. Sexy. Maybe a hunter too, so he gets the life. Someone who gets me, that I can have fun with. And I mean, I’d have to find him attractive…so I don’t know…..like a good friend but also different….it’s hard to explain it.”

“So a hunter that’s a good friend and gets you?”

You nodded.

“So….like me?” He asked as you fumbled internally for a response.

“Yeah….I guess….”

“But not me?”

You hadn’t known what to say. Years of hiding the truth had meant that keeping how you felt from him was now learned behaviour. The stakes were too high. Lying, underselling, fighting yourself – it had become just what you did. But in that moment, you hadn’t wanted to lie to him. You’d just sat, looking at him. Silent. Unable to brush it off or make a joke that would cut through the tension and make things ‘normal’ again. It felt like you sat there for the longest time….unable to say anything, unable to look at him. Stuck and wishing that everything would reset.

“Hey!?” Came Dean’s voice, loudly shaking you from your recollection. “Y/N? You OK?”

“Yep.” You said, looking over at how the camp fire had taken hold. He smiled at you, proud of his handiwork. The sky was the colour of a deepening bruise; purple and slowly bleeding into darkness. He looked handsome in the firelight. He looked handsome everywhere.

“So….? Can you?” He asked. He’d clearly asked you something when you’d been lost in your memories.

“I’m sorry….can I what?”

He looked at you, curiously. “Get the food from the bag?”

“Oh yeah, sure. Of course.” You said, getting up, suddenly a whirlwind of activity as you opened the duffel he had gestured at. There were tubs of pasta salad and potato salad he’d already made, hot dog sausages, cobs of corn, some beans, and marshmallows, graham crackers and chocolate for s’mores. “When did you do this?” You asked, holding up the tubs of premade food.

He looked cocky and proud as he said, “I’m good at surprises, huh?”

You grabbed the sausages and walked over to him, putting your arm around his shoulder as you looked into his eyes. “You’re the best….” You said, “….and not just at surprises.” You took in the adorable smile, slightly crooked and full of teasing swagger and the raise of the eyebrows that he did when he knew that he’d done good and that he was being sexy as hell. And you kissed him, feeling that feeling in your chest again. Warm and fluttery and like thick chocolate melting luxuriously.

When you pulled apart, he took the sausages from you and you went back to fish for the skewers he said were in the bag. He certainly was well prepared.

You lay down blankets to sit on and made a little makeshift picnic and then you both sat by the camp fire, turning your sausages slowly in the flames.

“Hey….where did you go before?” He asked.

“What? When?”

“When I was starting the fire….which…I mean….” He motioned towards the camp fire which was burning perfectly.

“It’s a perfect camp fire, baby.” You said, honestly.

“….you zoned out for a while there…what were you thinking about?”

“That night. The one when you kissed me.”

“Oh…..what were you thinking about it?”

“Just….when you asked me what the guy I was looking for was like…and then you said it was like you but not you….you asked ‘but not me?’ and I remembered not knowing what to say……and then the next thing I remember was you getting up and walking over and kissing me…”

He had done just that, no words, nothing…he’d just come and crouched down next to you where you sat, looking into your eyes. There had been no swagger, no cheek, no bravado – just soft, open, emotion in his eyes as he’d scanned your face. And then he’d leaned in, pushing you over into the next seat with the force of his body as he slid forward, leaving you nowhere to go but back against the wall of the bunker kitchen as his lips made contact with yours for the first time. In that moment, it had felt like the whole world had tilted on its axis and in a way it had, nothing was ever the same again.

“….how did you know? You said before that you wanted to be sure…before you made a move again…but I didn’t say anything…so…how were you sure?”

“Well….” He said, looking like he was collecting his thoughts as he spun the end of his skewer to get the sausage evenly cooked, “…you didn’t say anything for a long time….and I thought…if it wasn’t me, and I’m not saying that I thought it was….but if it wasn’t, you’d have said something…you’d have said something funny like ‘…you but with better taste in movies’ or nice like ‘…yeah, like you but not my buddy’. You’d have said something. I was waiting….waiting for you to tell me why it wasn’t me you wanted. But you just sat there. And then…I could see it in your face…the way you were fighting with yourself, the way you couldn’t think of the right thing to say, how you were tired of lying and hiding and….the fear…I could see the fear…I saw all of it, maybe for the first time…I saw it because what I saw…..on your face….it was the way I felt…I saw the way I felt all the time when I was around you just….it was written all over your face. And I thought…I’m waiting for…what, a speech…a confession?…it’d been so long…there were no words that were going to work…no words to change things or explain…I knew that because I’d tried to think of them myself…so many times…lying in bed, sometimes even next to you, trying to figure out the perfect words to say if ever I worked up the courage to tell you how I felt….there weren’t words….so why was I waiting for you to find them….the fact that you were silent, the look on your face…weirdly, it said more….And I didn’t know, even then, if I should do anything about it…but you looked so scared, so confused…I just wanted to be near you and tell you it was OK…make you feel better, tell you I was sorry for bringing it up…but when I moved closer to you and looked in your eyes…it wasn’t like I thought, oh well…I’ll be brave and risk it or that I had to tell you, whatever the cost…I didn’t think about that…I didn’t even weigh up the risks of losing the friendship or anything….I just I looked in your eyes…and I knew. In that moment…I just knew. I could see it.”

“Oh.” You said, taking the cooked sausage of your skewer and putting it on a plate before putting a new hot dog into the fire.

“’Oh’?” He laughed, “I just said all of that and your response is ‘Oh.’” He nodded, in the fire light, and you wondered how a nod of the head could be sarcastic. You laughed too. He was right, sometimes with you the both of you, you found it hard to find the words.

“Yeah….I didn’t know what to say…you…what we had…it was too important to risk…but in that moment….” You shrugged, knowing he already knew what you meant. “I’m glad you kissed me. Thank you for kissing me, for doing what I couldn’t….I’m so pleased you ‘saw it’….my confusion.”

He looked at you, his eyes narrow again. “That’s not what I saw, Y/N.” He said, matter of factly.

“What then? What did you see?”

He shook his head, “Nothin’….it’s not a big deal….this the last one?” He said, holding up the last uncooked sausage at you as you nodded. He stood up to go get another beer from the cooler and the beans from the bag and you watched him. He’d gotten uncomfortable…it’d become too ‘chick flick’ and that was OK, you weren’t really into that over the top stuff either. Though you were curious as to what he’d been about to say.

Still, you cooked by camp fire and ate. The mood was easy and you both joked and laughed and teased, the way you always did.

Once the food was eaten, he made a pile of clothes and pillows and the back pack behind him so he could lean back against it, there in the warmth of the fire, and then he pulled you in, so you were both half sat, half lying down, you between his legs, leaning back against his chest with his arms wrapped tight around you, the both of you cocooned in a blanket. He’d brought the cooler nearer so you didn’t even have to move to get a beer. You leaned your head back against his shoulder and took in the sky.

You’d been right. It was incredible. The sky looked so big and wide and there were so many stars, more than you had ever seen before. They were bright and beautiful and scattered seemingly endlessly across the black velvet of the night. It looked magical and special and you didn’t have words to explain. But that was fine. With him you didn’t have to. You just pulled his arms even tighter around you as you looked up.

He squeezed and nuzzled into your neck, laying a soft, sweet kiss there. “Is it what you’d hoped it would be?” He asked, his deep voice low and soft.

“Better….It’s so beautiful….And you’re here….And we’re together…I hate that we wasted so much time but I’m so glad we got here in the end. Thank you for kissing me then. Thank you for this surprise now. I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything as beautiful and I don’t think I’ve ever been so happy…”

“You asked me before what I saw…on your face that night? The thing I recognised in you because I felt it too?”

“Yeah.”

“Love. It was love.” He said, almost whispering the word into your ear. “I love you, so much. I always have.”

Hearing him say that was the only thing that could have wrenched your eyes away from the starlight canopy overhead. You looked at him, his eyes so earnest and honest,, his whole face lit by the firelight, his smile just full of happiness – not sexy ‘Dean’, charming ‘Dean’, wise cracking ‘Dean’ – just Dean. Your ‘Dean’.

“I love you too.” You said, leaning forward to kiss him. You felt high on the fact that the words had finally been said, but also on the fact that just then when he’d said it – it had clicked, of course that was what this was. It suddenly all made sense. High on the way he’d made this dream and every other one come true. High on him – just all of him. His lips were always so soft and warm and he was the best kisser. Every time, it was like magic.

When you pulled apart you saw his happiness on his face. You were pretty sure yours was the same. Overjoyed. Then you watched as his eyes shifted up. You followed his gaze and saw what looked like a shooting star.

“What?” You half whispered. As you leaned back against him to see another stream of light, sparkle a trail down the sky. Then another and another. “Are the angel’s falling again?” You joked.

He leaned his head against yours, both of you staring as the stars started to look like fireworks, dancing just for the both of you. “Let’s hope not……..” He stopped to kiss the side of your face, his lips landing by your temple. “It’s a meteor shower.”

You watched, silent and awed. You had never seen anything like it. The streaming lights across the sky left you feeling so many things all at once. Small in the face of the huge vastness of what was in front of you, undone by its beauty and its power, amazed by how much perfection and magic there could be in a universe that so often was overrun by darkness and sadness, not daring to believe that you were actually in the presence of something this special, that you were actually experiencing it. It was funny how it reminded you of that night in the kitchen, words failing you as you felt dwarfed by feelings and forces so big. And much like then, it was too hard to believe that a moment this perfect was yours to have. But it was. He’d given it to you.

The sky, the shower of lights falling like rain, the fire, the feel of his arms around you and the gentle rise and fall of his chest against your back. He’d done all this for you.

He’d remembered an off the cuff fragment of a half made wish from years ago and he’d taken that dream and made it real, he’d made it better and then he’d given it to you. And best of all, he was there now sharing it with you. You turned your head slightly, and took in the look on his face, as he looked up, taking it in, happy awe, just like yours as he looked down to meet your gaze. You could feel that he knew how you felt, it passed between you, realer than words. The way he’d seen the love on your face that night, the way he’d felt it as real as gravity in the space between you.

“It’s so…..” You stumbled for words, knowing whatever you came up with wouldn’t do it justice, “…incredible…How….there’s a meteor shower on the same day as the anniversary of the first time we met?? That’s….I mean I know you couldn’t have planned it….but that’s crazy…..”

He shrugged, “Yeah…I’m good but even I couldn’t have pulled this off.” He laughed, casting his eyes back to the sky. “Like I said, I just wanted to surprise you and I remembered about the camping and when I was researching I read about this….and I mean, this time all those years ago, I was watching you from across a bar table, wishing you’d stay with me, watching you go….I couldn’t have planned it…but….I don’t know….I guess sometimes everything just comes together…exactly like it should, like it’s supposed to….somehow…”

“I guess so.” You said, softly as you watched the ballet of celestial light up above the both of you, knowing that neither of you were talking solely about this night.

And you sat and you watched the sky as you felt his strength and warmth around you. Every now and then one of you would kiss the other but you didn’t really talk that much. You didn’t really have too.

Once the shower had ended, you sat by the camp fire for a while, eating the s’mores you made.

“Want me to tell you scary stories?” He asked.

You huffed, lightly against him. “I’m good….it’s nice to have a break from the scary stories for once.”

“It’s tradition!” He said, with mock offense, before his voice returned to normal to say, “Yeah, OK….I’ve never been one for all that either.”

“Dean…?”

“Yes, sweetheart?”

“Thank you…this was the best day. The best night. The best surprise.”

He nodded slowly as he smiled, pleased look on his face. “Well….nearly….” He said, shifting you gently in his arms to face him more. “…it’s nearly the best night.”

“Oh, really?…..and what could possibly make it any better?” You teased as you smiled, watching his face do that thing it did. Confidence in his lop sided smile that was almost a smirk, daring eyes looking deeply into yours, refusing to look away, playful and sexy as he raised his eyebrow at you. And this time when he kissed you it lit torch paper deep inside of you and the kiss deepened and touches strayed and your bodies rolled against each other, first by the side of the fire and then again in the tent…long and slow and easy….then heated and desperate and hungry.

He was so sexy that it still floored you. The way it felt when he kissed you just right on the side of your neck, hard against your pulse point so you felt it travel all the way along nerves, all the way to your very core. The way his hands felt, so commanding and so skilfully agile as they made their way under layers of clothing on to skin and then from stroking sweeps against your body to the way they moved when they worked against your heat, exploring and teasing, knowing so well how to make you feel good. The deep, low timbre of his voice on the hot breath that fanned across your ear saying “I still can’t believe I get to do this, to be like this….with you.” And the way you felt it deep inside you when you heard him saying your name.

The urgency and the desperate craving that took over when you heard his breath quicken, when you felt the way he moved you to taste you and to touch you – as if he needed to, as if he might die from it. The way you stopped thinking and your body took over, moving with his as you chased all of him with your hands, your mouth, your body just needing his. The electricity that passed between you in the look he gave you just before he’d enter you. That look. And then that feeling, the feeling of him moving in you, around you. The way it felt, the sounds, the wave that built inside of you…the wave that built so powerfully that only he could hold you together when it hit. Or so it felt anyway.

So much of whatever it was between you seemed to defy words, defy explanation.

Or it had, until tonight. He’d called it love and though that word had never made sense to you before, not really….it was in songs that made you roll your eyes and over the top cheesy gestures and chick flicks that Dean said he hated but secretly loved…tonight when you’d heard the word in his voice, accompanied by the look in his eyes, it had all just suddenly made sense.

It wasn’t the songs and movies. It was something else.

It was all those feelings that were too big, so big that you’d both hidden from them and hidden them from each other all those years. It was the fear you’d felt – of getting hurt, of losing him – fear of losing something that meant so much you couldn’t even contemplate risking it. The closeness that had built up between you, to the point where now you didn’t need to find words, there was just that ‘knowing’ that lived in the space between you, the space that had been stretched far over time and distance but had never broken. The huge forces of what he meant to you and how it felt to know him, to want him, to need him, to have him. The melting and fluttering. The intoxicating headiness of feeling how he was with you, the way he made your dreams come true, the way he showed you he cared. This was love. And now, you understood it. Now finally you had the words. Now you knew.

And as you ran your hand across his back, as he moved deep inside you, rhythmic and powerful with your legs wrapped around him, trying to pull him even closer to you, despite there being no way he could be, your fingers digging into the firm flesh of his back as the wave crashed and coil inside of you broke, his head lowered to whisper into your ear again and again “I love you.”

He said it as you let out the moan that you couldn’t keep in anymore as the force tore its way through you.

“I love you so much, Y/N….I always have….I love you….”

And as you felt his pace quicken and the words sound ever more ragged you said them back. You told him that you loved him, you loved him more than you’d ever thought possible, you always had and you always would. They were the words he heard when he let go inside of you, groaning as he did. And as he kissed you afterwards you thought, that yes, now you got it and now it made sense and now indeed the night was perfect. Not only did the word make sense…but it all did…you and him.

It was different from normal, usually it was dirty, sexy, filthy flirty fun, but tonight this had felt exactly right. After years, saying the thing that needed to be said. Like a meteor shower on exactly the right night, it had fallen into place and been exactly what it needed to be. Exactly what it was.

You fell asleep wrapped up in him, your twisted limbs finding a home against each other in the limited space of the sleeping bag. And you woke to find the sunlight against the tent heating it up so it felt like an oven. Your body shifting woke him.

“Mmmm….mornin’ darlin’….” He said, his voice still hoarse and croaky from sleep, fluffy bed hair sticking up, one eye half open while the other stayed resolutely shut. “Where d’ya think your goin’?” He asked, his strong arm scooping you towards him effortlessly.

“I’m so hot!” You said, scrambling so he released you, enabling you to open the zip of the tent to let air circulate, the cooler breeze already making you feel better as it made its way in.

“You’re fuckin’ tellin’ me.” He said, nuzzling into to you as you lay back down against him.

You lay there for a while, letting the tent cool down and waking up slowly and lazily. You could feel him hard against you, like he always was in the mornings. You heard birds singing outside and imagined it was a beautiful day. The slice of bright blue sky that you had seen when you had unzipped the tent led you to believe it was.

When you felt him stretch and shift slightly against you, you knew he was more awake.

“Want me to go make some coffee?” You asked, remembering in your head, where you’d seen coffee stuff in the bags.

“In a minute…” He said, kissing your neck. You loved how his voice sounded first thing in the morning. Still deep but different…sweet as he so was newly awake. You smiled as you felt him roll his hardness against you.

“We’re all gross from last night….”

“I don’t care…” He gruffly whispered into your ear.

“Dean-“ You were about to say something about how you should get up and brush your teeth and make coffee but not only did his hand snaking down the front of you to start to stroke you between your legs distract you, but he also cut you off by saying…

“Whatever, you’re gonna say…I can promise you…I don’t care…..” You giggled without meaning to as he softly bit your neck and then promptly the giggle changed as you felt his hips roll again and his fingers moving faster.

This time neither of said ‘I love you’….but you felt it there, unspoken, just the same.

Some time later, you got up and made coffee and ate the remaining food for breakfast. Then you slowly packed up, dismantling the tent.

“So….” He said, “Did you enjoy our camping trip?”

“Yeah!” You said, helping him fold the outer canvas up small enough to put back in the bag. “You still hate camping?”

He looked at you, huge smile across his face and twinkle in his eye. He shook his head and looked down at the tent before looking up at you, half squinting in the sunlight. “Nah, you might have changed my mind on that….had a feeling you might.”

Once everything was packed away you looked at your watch, if you timed this right, you could work a romantic gesture of your own into the mix you thought.

“Feel like an adventure?” You asked him, pulling him towards you and wrapping him up in your arms. He looked at you suspiciously. You raised your eyebrows at him, prompting him to say something in response.

His eyes were still cautious and narrow as he kissed you, pulling back and relaxing into his confusion.

“Baby….with you….yeah. I’d go anywhere. Bring it on…”

You picked up your bags and made your way through the trees heading back to Baby, until you grabbed his arms and pulled him to follow you as you cut left in a different direction.

“Y/N…sweetheart….where are we….” He trailed off as he saw where you were. His sweet lips kinking up in a smile.

You looked at your watch. “All that time…in the tent, having coffee, packing up slow….it means that now….”

You pushed the strap of the back pack off him and dropped the duffel, slowly walking him backwards.

“….is about the same time….as when all those years ago…..”

He hit the bark of the tree, slyly smiling that sexy smirk at you as his eyes scanned your face, full of sweet affection.

“…..you tried to kiss me…up against this tree…..and some vampire got in the way….and some misunderstandings….got in the way…..”

You leaned forward into him. The sunlight hit differently this time as it swept across his features, it had been years so of course it would…but he was still so handsome, so sexy. Still a goddamn movie star.

“…..but now, I got you…and you got me…and we love each other….and there’s nothing in the way…nothing….not a goddamn thing.” You leaned forward to kiss him but felt his hands on your arms as he gripped and turned you both, precise cat like moves as always as he pushed you back against the bark.

“Happy Anniversary, baby…..” he said, as he leaned forward, kissing you hard, lifting you up with the power of it, as you threw your arms around him. The kiss that had taken over a decade to happen. The adventure that you’d almost been too scared to take. The love that you hadn’t understood but had unfolded anyway, exactly as it was supposed to, as the stars aligned and meteors rained down on fire, dancing across the sky as you watched. With him. All of it, with him.


End file.
